To pay or not to pay?

      Last week I went on a double date with my best friend and his girlfriend. It was my first time meeting her, they've been going out for some time now. Their relationship is...odd. Well, not odd, but different from those i've seen. I'm not going to get into other aspects of their relationship, but there was one thing that struck me as, not ok.
      When it was time to pay, I paid for half the check and let him pay for the other half. He divided his half in two for her and him to pay. The way he did it was what set the alarm off in my head...It was as if she knew that she had to pay for her share of the bill. Not as in, they spoke about it before dinner, more like it's a common thing... After dinner we walked for a while,  so i decided to ask him. Turns out my observation was correct. They have a rule that whenever they go out, each must pay their own way...
      Maybe i'm sorta old-school and my chivalry is a little outdated, but i cant have my woman paying every time. My wife and I have been together for many years. Im not going to claim that she never pays for me, she has. But its a rare event...In my book, men pay all the time women pay rarely. You can pay every 20th or 30th time we go out, but no less than that. It just makes me feel less of a man. I feel like i'm taking advantage of her.
      My friend asked me "So if you find yourself going out with a wealthy woman, you wouldn't let her buy you expensive gifts and take you to fancy dinners?"... Of course i would, she's wealthy...but I wouldn't let it happen often. Cause i know that deep inside I would feel less of a man. I would eventually find myself taking her to extravagant places and giving her gifts I can barely afford.
      Ladies, men don't have to buy your happiness, but they do have to make you feel special. I understand some of you strong, independent women out there feel like you have to support yourselves. But trust me when i tell you that, a man has to feel like a man. So, even if you dont need him, make him feel like you do. If he wants to take care of you, let him. Hey, more money in your pocket... ;-)

Making a move?

Today i was approached by a friend with a very interesting question, "Is it ok for a girl to make the first move?"...At the time when she asked this question I was not the only male in the room, another friend of hers was also there. Even though the question was not directed towards him, he felt like he should share his vast wisdom... He abruptly answered "to a guy thats a sign that you're desperate for sex"... The look on my face expressed my sentiment towards his answer...He's an idiot...


Lets say you're in a bar, or a bookstore or even on the bus, and you see someone you find attractive. He's looking at you, you're looking at him. You're both giving each other the "eye"... For those that dont know what the "eye" is, it's when your eyes meet for a second longer that normal. Just a second or two, anything longer than that is creepy.You'll know when it happens...So you guys are checking each other out but he's not making a move. Maybe he's already seeing someone, maybe he's not as interested as you think, or maybe he's just scared. But what are YOU going to do about it? He could be it, the man of your dreams, your future baby-daddy. Are you going to just let him have his last drink and walk away forever? Are you just going to watch him until he gets off the bus?...Living life with regrets is not living at all...


A simple "Hi my name is..." can prevent you from going the whole day thinking "what if..?" or "damn, i should've..."...Speaking as someone who has had a few women make the first move towards him, i can tell you that the last thing on my mind was "desperate for sex". I actually felt very flattered and even gave me a boost of confidence...The concept of walking up to a woman is very simple when explained, but it is anything but that when it's actually done. The amount of courage and confidence one has to build up is not to be taken lightly. So when you make the move for us, you're not only complimenting us by doing it, but you are taking the stress out of the equation. So even if you are nervous, we have no problem taking over and closing the deal for you. 


A woman that makes the first move is seen as strong, determined and for most men a definite turn on. It makes the man feel attractive and relieves him from any thoughts of being shut down. A man will only think that you want to have sex with him if you make him think that you want to have sex with him. So if thats not your immediate goal, avoid anything that has to do with sex and keep the flirting PG13.

Somewhat of an introduction...

Hello and welcome to Uncle Sam Says,

The purpose of my blog is to provide relationship advice to women. I have helped many women through rough patches, bumps or whatever you want to call it. Now ladies, i'm not here to tell you what you want to hear. I'm here to tell you the truth. His truth...

Let me tell you a little about myself before we begin.
I'm a 20something year old male, living in NYC. I'm married and have a son. I have been involved in more relationships that i can remember, and they were not always necessarily mine. In my life time, i've had probably twice the amount of female friends as i've had male friends. Ive been asked for advice by friends, friends of friends and even strangers...

My advices are pretty good, and they are always honest. Im not always right, but i can live with 9 out of 10. lol.